Happy Thanksgiving!
Priceless Gifts I am thankful for:
-Soul mate. A soul mate that passionately loves, confidently believes in you, and enables your soul to blossom - even when that means shedding layers of pain. Don't settle for anything less; Your soul is precious. Thank you KNB for 13 unforgettable years.
- Sunshine. Especially in the morning when I start my day at the lake.
- Smiles. Smiles from my lover. Smiles from a stranger. Both remind me life is never that complicated.
- God. Without my Creator, I would be living a life with empty fulfilment's.
- Suffering. I also think of Grace. Without it, I wouldn't understand freedom that enables me to stand tall everyday, and lets me embrace life and reach out to others in a way never imaginable.
- Hope. Without it, my soul would have stopped dreaming years ago.
Sweet blessings for a beautiful Thanksgiving from my heart to yours.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
One day
I recently had some ladies over at my house. These ladies are not your typical ladies. Some people would look at them and say "They need help" - knowing they are from an in house therapy program. But I look at these ladies and say "Wow". They have passion in their life, courage to change old habits that once silenced their souls and confidence to learn to put on new shoes. How many individuals are willing to drop what they are doing in life, possessions and all, and humbly admit, "I need help...I can't do it on my own..I want to become stronger in my journey..."
One of the ladies shared her journey. Soul wrenching. Adopted as a young girl and then abused by her 'brother'. Another lady shared through tears how her father abused her. Shame. Isolation. Powerless. Empty. Stories were shared, all unique in their own but all at some point had moments of anger, sorrow, bitterness, resentment....and...all had the point in their story of hope.
To see the ladies stand tall because of the hope they held inside of themselves reminded me, once again, no matter the hell, no matter how dark the darkness gets, there is always hope. Sometimes that doesn't come as fast as I'd like, but hope is always there - whether we want to acknowledge its presence or not. So many times, I underestimate God. I underestimate his ability to heal...and when the times of pain come back to me I remind myself - Gods healing is more powerful that any pain I have and will ever experience.
Lets stand tall. We are serving a God that created our souls to blossom - and yes, sometimes that means pain a long the way -but really they are times to show us how vulnerable we are without our all-knowing creator!
God bless you today, and the ladies that were at my house, no matter where you are on your journey.
One of the ladies shared her journey. Soul wrenching. Adopted as a young girl and then abused by her 'brother'. Another lady shared through tears how her father abused her. Shame. Isolation. Powerless. Empty. Stories were shared, all unique in their own but all at some point had moments of anger, sorrow, bitterness, resentment....and...all had the point in their story of hope.
To see the ladies stand tall because of the hope they held inside of themselves reminded me, once again, no matter the hell, no matter how dark the darkness gets, there is always hope. Sometimes that doesn't come as fast as I'd like, but hope is always there - whether we want to acknowledge its presence or not. So many times, I underestimate God. I underestimate his ability to heal...and when the times of pain come back to me I remind myself - Gods healing is more powerful that any pain I have and will ever experience.
Lets stand tall. We are serving a God that created our souls to blossom - and yes, sometimes that means pain a long the way -but really they are times to show us how vulnerable we are without our all-knowing creator!
God bless you today, and the ladies that were at my house, no matter where you are on your journey.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Caroline's Words
Last week, I went to a funeral of a beautiful, vibrant 19 year old girl, who passionately lived her life to honor Jesus. Her contagious joy and smile reminded me of my daughter's.
In front of the church, there was a bulletin board of verses she boldly had up in her college dorm room. And in the corner in the midst of many bible verses, she had a quote, "Quit - give it to Jesus." I was drawn instantly and stopped in my thoughts - I could quit having pain - for real -Pain from my past didn't need to stay a part of me. My freedom today didn't have room for past pain. Pain no longer had an invitation and I was acting like there still was an invitation. I was hanging onto pain that no longer had a part or place in my present journey.
I realized "Quit - give it to Jesus" was so 'anti-psychology' today. After intense therapy, I remember I had a Y in the road; stay victim or "Quit - give it to Jesus". I had Quit but those words showed me I was still hanging onto strings of pain. Somewhere along the way, I was hanging onto huge lies.
The lie I needed to hang onto this pain to stay true to my journey. The lie I needed to control my pain and not be able to trust my Maker to destroy it forever - but oh, that would feel too vulnerable. I would say I gave my pain to Jesus, but had I really? Why were the words "Quit - give it to Jesus" so "loud" to me? Ouch. Stab. Reality.
Without recognizing it, I was starting to grab pain that I had released months ago and it was my turn again to "Quit and give it to Jesus". And once again, it came down to my vulnerability of trusting Jesus to be my savior and not myself. The constant tension of me wanting to be my own savior and not letting Jesus.
I thought I had released my layer of pain and anger. I thought I had released my bitterness and miraculously experienced releasing forgiveness but Caroline reminded me to 'Quit. Give it all to Jesus."
In front of the church, there was a bulletin board of verses she boldly had up in her college dorm room. And in the corner in the midst of many bible verses, she had a quote, "Quit - give it to Jesus." I was drawn instantly and stopped in my thoughts - I could quit having pain - for real -Pain from my past didn't need to stay a part of me. My freedom today didn't have room for past pain. Pain no longer had an invitation and I was acting like there still was an invitation. I was hanging onto pain that no longer had a part or place in my present journey.
I realized "Quit - give it to Jesus" was so 'anti-psychology' today. After intense therapy, I remember I had a Y in the road; stay victim or "Quit - give it to Jesus". I had Quit but those words showed me I was still hanging onto strings of pain. Somewhere along the way, I was hanging onto huge lies.
The lie I needed to hang onto this pain to stay true to my journey. The lie I needed to control my pain and not be able to trust my Maker to destroy it forever - but oh, that would feel too vulnerable. I would say I gave my pain to Jesus, but had I really? Why were the words "Quit - give it to Jesus" so "loud" to me? Ouch. Stab. Reality.
Without recognizing it, I was starting to grab pain that I had released months ago and it was my turn again to "Quit and give it to Jesus". And once again, it came down to my vulnerability of trusting Jesus to be my savior and not myself. The constant tension of me wanting to be my own savior and not letting Jesus.
I thought I had released my layer of pain and anger. I thought I had released my bitterness and miraculously experienced releasing forgiveness but Caroline reminded me to 'Quit. Give it all to Jesus."
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