Surrendered Soul

My heart feels torn tonight in spite of feeling more free than ever on the eve of my birthday...

Both of my angels are fighting viruses, I just found out my husband has to serve on jury duty on our anniversary - in a few weeks! - and as I had full intentions how I wanted to spend my birthday tomorrow, I'm quickly learning my day is meant to spent in other ways...and celebrating my birthday will have to take place this weekend!! When it comes to my birthday, I am all about celebrating me and making no apologizes about it!!!

I look back over my year and realize it is my journey of surrendering my soul - over, and over, and over, to my Creator - in big and right now small things. Why do I keep fighting my will? Haven't I realized by now to keep my soul surrendered all of the time gives me joy like no other - even when circumstances on the outside might suggest otherwise?

This coming year I want nothing more than to let God be my pilot and stop trying to co-pilot my life with Him.

This is in no means suggesting I take a laid back unintentional approach to life. I am the first that likes to go over my vision and values...but after I lay it all out that is when I look to my Redeemer and say - Guide my steps....so at the end of the day my joy does not come from accomplishing my goals but comes from ultimately staying completely surrendered for the glory of God and being a voice for the voiceless - regardless what that entitles me to take up daily.

I think of the book: “The Joy of Full Surrender” by Jean-Pierre de Caussade.

These words are beautiful.

“One who knows the king in disguise treats him very differently from another who, judging by appearances alone, fails to recognize his royalty and treats him as a commoner. In the same way the soul that recognizes the will of God in even the smallest circumstances, even in those that are most distressing and fatal, receives them all with equal joy, pleasure, and respect. That soul throws open all its doors to receive with honor what others fear and fly from in horror….To adore Jesus on the mount of Transfiguraton, to love the will of God in extraordinary things, does not show as much faith as loving the will of God in ordinary things and adoring Jesus on the cross. For faith cannot be said to be real, living faith, until it is tested and has triumphed over everything that would destroy it….To consider God equally good in the most petty and ordinary events as in great and unusual ones is to have a faith that is not ordinary, but is itself great and extraordinary.

... Faith, showing us things as they are, transforms their ugliness into beauty and their malice into goodness. Faith is the mother of gentleness, confidence, and joy. It cannot help feeling tenderness and compassion for its enemies, by whose means it is so immeasurably enriched. While the human instrument seeks to injure us, the divine Workman does his work, making use of its very malice to remove from the soul all that is injurious to it. The will of God is nothing but sweetness, grace, and treasures to the surrendered soul.

As I close, I leave with this:

Embrace the journey. Stand tall. And treat the hours that are given as a gift...perhaps that is what my soul longs for at 32...Gifts are not material possessions but gifts are the moments given to me each day, a smile exchanged with a stranger, being a voice for the voiceless, and having a surrendered heart hourly.

Sweet blessings from my heart to yours! Life is Precious!!