I Say

I say I want to be brave in life...I say I want no regrets in life...I want to live and love like I have never been hurt

I say I am a follower of Jesus, I trust in Jesus and pray to Jesus ...and yet I find myself being a follower of comfort, trusting in comfort and secretly asking Jesus to make me comfortable in life and asking Jesus when will my grief go a way, and guarding my heart with love and extending life...

I say I want to make a difference in my children's lives, and make a difference in orphans lives...but God...all under my idea's and ways please.

I say I want healing, I say I am free, and I say forgive...but I find myself wanting to forever forget about my abuse, create distance, and wonder how many more times my knees will bend to plead with Jesus to take my grieving a way.

But maybe I have this all upside down.

Maybe I need to say, thank you Jesus for letting suffering be a part of my journey...my suffering allows me to see how ugly my sin is for Jesus to forgive me, and the gift of mercy He gives me daily...

Maybe I need to say, thank you Jesus for drawing my heart to orphans, no matter how much I give up of my time and ideals, to let others learn to hear their voice for the first time.

Maybe I need to say, than you Jesus for showing me one hour at a time, my hours are full when I open my heart 110% - no matter what happens on how it is received or how vulnerable I feel. My security is in Jesus - nothing or nobody else...(how freeing to say that!)

And maybe I need to say this above all else:

BE BRAVE - no matter how lonely it feels - for the glory of God - for the ONE whose sovereignty saves my soul everyday.

Sweet blessings!!