Exposing Worth

I want my voice to be a place of freedom, truth and hope. I want my voice to be a voice of kindness - starting with Sophie. It is easy for me to branch out and be a voice for this and that - and yet right now my calling is being a voice for Sophie in our home, teaching her how to use her voice.

When I let myself dig deeper - and take a deep breath - I know my tendency to branch outside my home and save thousands of girls - besides spending time with my own - is an issue of worth. That makes me realize I am calling God a liar - because I'm not believing his words when He tells me my worth is because of Him - nothing I do. NOTHING. PERIOD. I love how God tells me all of my goodness is as filthy rags -not excusing my actions to be a voice for a voiceless but sobering when I let myself believe I am worth nothing without the blood of Jesus covering me.

Looking back, it was hard on me to pull away from being on this board and that board in my community but when I found myself wanting to get acknowledged for what I was doing, and at the same time watching my dear daughter crave for that same energy - it was time for me to let go and acknowledge nothing I do adds worth to my soul.

Being abused - my soul has had to learn deeply I am more precious than jewels - period.My soul learned a lot of lies starting at the age of 3 - one being I was worth nothing because how could someone hurt me if my soul was worth anything? I started this journey of thinking I always had to look perfect, be doing this or that to be noticed... all lies. No new outfit, no new design, no new act of kindness, no new business was going to add worth to my beautiful soul.

I'm learning to take leaps of faith in understanding my worth is priceless all because of Jesus. I'm throw out lies as soon as they try to attack me; I replace thoughts of shame, condemnation, and doubt with the words of God; I soak myself in spending 'simple' time with my Redeemer...and I know it also has a lot to due with my friendship with Ken - experiencing first hand a passionate relationship while being vulnerable with all of my fears and dreams.

Sweetest blessings from my heart to yours.