My Desert

I am sitting in amazement right now - I just came out of a desert - I didn't know how long I would walk in it but I went because I felt called to go - For Months I was on my knees asking Him to close and open doors and yet learning to focus on obeying His calling each day - while learning not to spend to distract my real emotions - even though I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable. Many days I was 'thirsty' and my feet felt 'dirty'and I 'complained' from being in my desert - while learning the beauty of walking in a desert.

The walk was often lonely and beyond vulnerable at times - but I stayed. I stayed and learned to be - something I would often in the past busy myself with organizing to helping to shopping. I didn't let fear direct my decisions like I would have a year ago. The times I became afraid or felt out of control were the times I would call Ken at work or give my soul to God again on my knees.

Today God showed me why I had been walking in my desert...now it all makes sense... It was only walking through my desert was I able to finally come to my water that my soul has been thirsty for all along - and designed to embrace all along.

As I write - I see my sin of entitlement once again - I get this attitude that I need to understand everything right now and if not right now - then for sure tomorrow....and to think the children of Isreal were in a real desert for 40 years...that would make my walk in my desert until Sophie is 50 and Cole 48...gulp. So sorry dear Jesus when I got impatient with 10 months...

I will never forget my desert walk of 2009.

Next time I come upon a desert in my journey I will invite it with both hands up. I will be. I love how God moves my heart to question, moves my heart to search until He clearly shows me water where He wants to take my soul...

"Thank you dear Jesus. Thank you for being sovereign. Thank you for water but more importantly, thank you for deserts - no matter how long I walk in them"

Sweetest blessings from my heart to yours