I was thinking the other day, what has helped me break through my concrete walls of pain, over the past few years. I hope by me sharing a few things below, it can be an encouragement in your journey that there is no wall of pain that cannot be broken down.
1. Understanding all details in my life - the good, the bad and the ugly - are all for a purpose and no pain experienced is ever wasted - this is not endorsing pain but acknowledging our Creator is bigger and more powerful than any pain ever experienced.
2. Giving my buckets of tears to God - and nothing else.
3. Not waiting on someone or something to change, so I can heal in my journey. Only focusing on what I can change in myself.
4. Staying vulnerable with my fears to Ken, and taking him to therapy with me.
Ken can only be my best friend when I keep my heart open to him and tell him how to protect and help me. (I have noticed to many times women get angry at their husbands for not helping...and 99% of the time, it isn't the husband not wanting to help - but simply is ignorant on how to help)
5. The road to freedom is probably the most lonely road ever traveled - in spite of layers of pain released - and don't take it personally.
Change is hard for people to embrace - even healthy change. We are creatures of habit and often fine our security in routine relationships or traditions, not in our intimate relationship with God - whether we want to admit it or not.
Friends/Family who I would have thought would have been the biggest support surprised me at times, and for a long time I kept wondering what was wrong - until I realized the lack of embrace had nothing to do with me but there were things in their life that was stopping them from embracing my new journey.
I told a close friend of mine the other day, go through a big change in life and see what people are still walking life with you - those are true friends. It is bitter sweet but oh so heart warming to walk through 'fire' and still see dear friends/family in the fire with you.
Sweet blessings from my heart to yours...sweet hugs to each one who has loved me unconditionally and has shown me buckets of grace and patience. I love you all!!
2 comments:
Good morning dear friend! I love your five points. All of them struck my heart. #3 is awesome.. so many times satan tricks into waiting for something to change so that we are always in bondage! thanks for the encouragment!
I think you make such a good point about wanting people to "mind read" for us. . ..when we can't do it even ourselves.
I think you've handled everything with alot of grace Amy . . .I admire your determination to let Christ be the victor in it all (even when that means vulnerability for you).
love you
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