My Stillness

My escape from my soul at times, is to become really busy - the type of busy that to others it appears productive and far from destructive. And if I’m not busy, I’m shopping, I’m organizing, I’m designing, I’m critiquing...using a lot of energy to try to perfect something in that moment of vulnerability - all to find a few hours later - my soul is still restless. However; I know it is a mask for me letting myself learn to be still... I still have to train my mind, stillness is resting not fighting.

This year I’m done with that cycle.

I’m done spending hours shopping (in spite for those pair of shoes a lady always needs!); I’m done appearing busy (I do have time to be still); and I’m done judging, critiquing, waiting for perfection...I’m done.

Perhaps I see this more clearly now since I’m intentionally letting myself be filled with stillness - My favorite time in Yoga is at the end when I just lay still on the floor...and as my body is resting, my soul is praying and realizing I’m teaching my body to rest - not fight. I am ok...

I’m beyond ok...

I’m free...

Just like I use to feel when I would play the piano for hours growing up...

And perhaps the most rewarding of all, I’m learning to become still with Sophie and Cole and take their journeys in stride - and let them go as God directs their paths that were planned eons before I became a mother to them.

My stillness -

My new resting spot -

Right next to Ken.