To give you some appreciation for my story this week, let me first fill you in on a few things:
Cole goes to a private school and have been going to school since preschool age....I love my space AND flexibility as much as I love my 2 darlings....I have my days I work out, I have my days to meet friends...I, I, I....I NEVER - as Ken was NEVER - going to home school (even the idea of writing home school could make me nauseous)
So here it is: In two weeks I start to home school our son.
Okay - that was never in my plans. That was never to even be considered, let alone act upon.So the obvious question, what changed...love, my gut, God changing my heart - call it what you want - ...as what changes all important things in my life, there is a point that love rules over logic....(getting married at 19 and finishing my degree WHILE being married...at 17 if I would have known in 2 years I would be married, I would have laughed and said after my degree, and after I do my international business experience...but when a heart falls in love...it falls in love and there is no going back....)
On my own I dismiss homeschooling but my heart leaps when I know home schooling will allow Cole to enjoy his strengths with learning, foster confidence and discipline, allow him to embrace his passion with athletics and music, allow him to take trips over to Zambia....since he will have more flexibility in his days and weeks....now that is an education that a boy will not forget....
This past Thursday, on the way from school, Cole & I had a fantastic heart to heart mother-son talk.... After our talk, Ken and I decided Cole's last week at school would be next Friday.... and we would start home schooling...forget the hesitations, the stereotypes, my fears, and perhaps the biggest of them all for me - the comfort of my son being in a "private" school.....step up and create a day to day life for Cole that embraces his strengths.
A huge part of this story that I haven't shared is my individual journey...During all of this, this past week I was so desperate to just go out and shop and become numb to what was really happening inside of my sons heart - all for a 'quick fix' for some 'artificial control'....but I stuck to my resolved heart that I no longer was a slave to shopping...don't let me discount the power of the holy spirit working in my heart at the times I was able to restrain)
I have no doubt it is because of my freedom from shopping that this past week so many answers came for our family with Cole - I had time and energy to invest in Cole - And I know if I would have been going through my week doing this and that - I would have easily dismissed my heart to heart talk with Cole on Thursday and the hundreds of conversations we have had all year as a family.
This week it has struck me how deeply the art and calling of parenting really is and the time it is required to stay emotionally in tune to my children. I love it that my "career" right now is being an advocate for Sophie and Cole - no matter how they are schooled. I wouldn't trade it in for anything. And with that, comes putting "hats" away for right now - it is not a sacrifice but rather a privilege that these two children trust me to be their advocate.
Like I told Ken, whatever my "career" is at any given point in time, I take it seriously and dive into 110%....to the point that I am willing to do whatever it is to see my children's souls "sing"...and sometimes that means putting my fears, hesitations, desire to be in control aside so freedom can be the song....and my son Cole can walk through life not being silence but heard....
Silenced but heard...I will do any thing for a soul to be heard and right now that means fighting for my son - not the girls on the street or at wellspring - but for my son Cole Kenneth Joseph.
I look forward to many more Fridays - not Fridays with fear but Fridays with freedom.
Sweet blessings from my heart to yours!!
4 comments:
You are an amazing woman to fight for those most important in your life. Stay strong.
Did you buy your denim jumper yet b/c you know, it's required dress for the home-schooling mom! Just kidding! I'm so proud of you taking this big, scary plunge into home educating. You will do an amazing job. A year from now you will laugh at how worked up you got and you'll be praising God even more for your new lifestyle. The relationships you'll continue to build with your kids will be so rewarding. And, you will LOVE the flexibility. Congrats on taking the step of faith. God bless!
Lorri
You are ever an inspiration to me, as you continue to seek God's perfect plan and journey for you, as well as for Cole and all your family. God has taken us all on a journey, and I have come to thank Him for the peaks at the mountain tops as well as the depths of the valleys....only because I know He has been with us all. How earnestly my prayers and thoughts have been with you these past couple of challenging weeks. Hold fast to your precious faith that God will be with you all each step of the way. 'Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee."! Isaiah 26:3
Inspite of whatever is our challenge is, His peace is ever ours when we seek Christ. love you forever and always, mom
HA! I said those famous words too. "I will could never homeschool or I will never", whatever...been there done that one! But it was the best decision Von and I have ever made.
I put Paige in private (Plymouth Christian) with Blake for 4th quarter this year. She tested with flying colors (post high school, actually) on her entrance exam.
It wasn't easy and utimately she drove me nuts, but the Lord was faithful and provided all of my needs.
fyi...Lauren graduates in a couple of weeks and off to Grand Valley State. Can you believe it?
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