My Song

My wish for every soul being suppressed in their journey is they can sing the song, "I can see clearly now..."

I ached to be able to sing that song in my soul. I ached for freedom. The type of freedom that could sing "I can see clearly now that rain is gone..."

For years, before I even realized I was abused and would walk around , acting like I was all put together, being involved with this organization and that, silently my soul would ache to sing that song. I could never figure out what was getting in my way. What cloud was hanging over my voice?

In my attempt for clarity and freedom, I chased many dead idols. My dead idols were a comfort to me. At the end of the day, they were like my friends: always there for me. But unlike friends, I could control these idols - which gave me a false sense of security and power.

It was my best friend and soul mate who taught me the power of releasing that control and completely trusting a Creator who not only understood my pain, but had allowed it and would use it for good. I can see clearly now...

Even with clarity, I still have moments of unbearable pain. And at times my soul weeps silently. However; it is that pain that allows me to confidently embrace life I never thought possible and keeps me on my knees. I also know I wouldn't have the humility, mercy and compassion that compels me to love and serve many. I wouldn't trade that for all the "bright, bright, sunshiney" days in the world.